I Decide: What next after you have experienced Gender Based Violence

Any form of violence is a traumatic experience. Having to get yourself back on feet is challenging. You simply have no choice than to start a fresh whether you were a victim or even a parent or a spouse to a victim of violence. This is because such an experience changes you .How it changes you is up to you. In other cases, some victims of Gender Based Violence have no one to walk with them and so getting up and dusting themselves completely relies on them.

Mama Blessing as she is mostly known in her village is among the many victims of Gender Based Violence who have to decide what to do next after a traumatic experience.

Mama Blessing was a single parent to her 8 year old daughter Blessing when she decided to get serious with a man she had been seeing. Having dated for such a long time they both had concrete grounds on why they needed to move in together. And without wasting so much time within a month the two love birds moved in together and were living together as married couples.

The happiness was short lived when Mama blessing sent her longtime lover to Jail with concrete evidence for defiling her only daughter Blessing. It was the most painful time in her life. She blamed herself so much for Blessing’s defilement as she had opened the doors for that despicable man. She felt so bad that at some point before the man’s arrest she threatened to kill him.

When she took Blessing to a Gender Based Recovery Centre, She was given medical care and was even counseled. Blessing felt so resentful and angry towards life .Both Blessing and her mother were given counselling at the Recovery Center and joined a support group that would help them heal. For 8 months both would attend the support group and they would meet other victims of Gender Violence. Sharing with people who have been through the same trauma helped both Blessing and her mother heal psychologically.

Mama Blessing one day after the 8 months went to visit the man who defiled her daughter and they talked and she forgave him. She told him that she still loved him and once he was done serving his sentence she would take him back in her life. It was hard on Blessing to forgive the man who took away her innocence but because of the counselling she had gone through she decided to let go of her anger and forgave him.

It’s never easy to forgive someone who has hurt you in the worst way humanly possible. Most Victims of Abuse learn how to silently steer on with life but never forgiving the person that abused them. Children too go through the same pain, they react to abuse differently. Some try to commit suicide, others completely alienate themselves from the gender that abused them and even grow to hate them. Other victims of violence decide to go the vengeance highroad and they themselves become abusers.

Being a victim of violence is no one’s fault but what you decide to do next is completely up to you. In the case of children it is good that they receive counselling as it will help them heal. Even adults shouldn’t shun help, Gender Based Recovery centers are there for all and they purpose to help victims of violence heal psychologically.

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